Don't Steal It's Bad
by telecasterciel
Summary: A very...unique story told by 'someone' (Matthew. haha) in first person. Hope you enjoy it. Please review! Rated PG just in case.
1. Interestingness

The name's Matthew. I guess you could say I'm a thief, but there are uh...other titles that we 'thieves' would much prefer. And stealing's bad, children, so don't go around picking other peoples' pockets: cuz that's **my** job.

I was about 13 at the time...or was it 14? It doesn't matter. But it was around the time I met _her_ for the first time. She didn't look like the most extravagant lady on earth. She was just plain-dressed like a commoner. Yep, that was her alright. No decorations or girly jewelry whatsoever. She was just plain-dressed. I didn't notice her at first. But her blazing red eyes sure caught my attention –...right away.

"How do you do, milady?" I asked her, my tone slightly mocking. I didn't intend to sound that way. She gave me a curious glance.

"Who are you?" she said to me, not really answering my question, just replacing it with one of her own.

I smirk. "State your name first."

"No, I think you should go first. After all, you were the one who came up to me in the first place."

How odd. She had not gotten all mad and red-faced like most girls I tried this little stunt on. "I'm Matthew," I answered, grinning. I couldn't help but add: "It's spelled like this: M-A-T-T-H-E-W. I'm a guy." I almost burst out laughing at my own corny joke.

I think it was then that she got the impression that I could never be serious. She raised an eyebrow at me. "My name is Leila. And I'm sure you know how to spell that."

Then a few years later, I got my first mission for House of Ostia. There was this blue-haired dude sitting on the couch. I gave him a stare. Then when I turned to my employer, I mumbled: "Who's this fat- I mean big-boned guy? He looks awfully...heavy."

My employer gave me the look. "This 'big-boned guy' is Lord Hector, of the House of Ostia. I think it would be best if you learned to hold your tongue." He gave me a nasty smile. "Or I'll cut it right out."

I cringed, shuddering, and decided to keep my thoughts to myself. When I was ten feet away from 'Lord Hector', I stopped walking.

"Howdy, Mister," I began. I stole a glance back at my employer standing behind me, who looked like he was going to hit me over the head. "My name's Matthew, and I'm uh, going to be your new personal spy!"

The employer stepped in, looking as grand as can be. "Oh yes, he will be perfect for you, milord!" he said smoothly. "He has some...abilities that could be of use."

"Like what?" Lord Hector's voice was sarcastic.

"I'm a thief!" I blurted. "I can pick locks, sneak around, I can even see through fog!" I didn't hold my head high, because my employer was holding a stick.

"A thief?" several merchants nearby in the court chorused, looking afraid as they clutched their purses and goods to themselves.

And so I got my job. But I didn't expect _her_ to be there...


	2. I'm a Guy

_Dal: Hello people thank you for reviewing. Hope you enjoyed it. And yes, continuing this was my intent. Yay. Also, I have actually just started playing Fire Emblem a week ago, and still am stuck on chapter 26. What a sad person I am. I did not know that Uther was the one who hired Matthew :D_

---------------

I was happy. My first 'clean' job. And this job was working as a spy for the fat guy- I mean, Lord Hector. My bad. I celebrated my new career by swigging wine for awhile (I was drunk so I couldn't tell how long) in a drinking contest with this other guy.

Well, it was getting late, so I went into my new room. It was cozy, I guess: cozy meaning small and cramped. I didn't bother taking off my cloak when I jumped into my bed to go to sleep. And my bed was occupied.

It took me awhile to face the fact that I was looking at a woman. "Aaaahh who are you?" she screamed, while at the same time whipping out some daggers.

"Whoa, whoa, hold it!" I shouted back, my voice increasing in volume as I saw the blades. I held my hands up, palms facing towards her. "I'm unarmed. I was just going into my new room because I have a job here now, and I found you lying in it!"

"**Your** room?" she gaped. "What do you mean, this is your room?"

"I got a number, and it's the number of this door!" I said, holding out a piece of paper with some numbers on it. "Therefore, this is my room...isn't it?" I added, all of a sudden sounding unsure of myself. Could I have made a mistake?

"Let me see that number," she muttered, grabbing the piece of paper from me. She scrutinized it quickly, then handed it back to me. It looked like she was going to start freaking out.

She _did_ start freaking out. "What's the problem?" I asked, totally confused.

"Oh why did this have to happen to me?" she said. "Why?? Of all the stupid men in the country, why did I have to get stuck with you? Kid, we are going to be roommates!!!" she did not say the latter with a smile.

"Why? What's wrong with me?" I retorted.

"You act like a retard."

I frowned. "Well get used to it. And I might as well know your name."

She looked surprised. "My name? Why don't you tell me yours first?"

"No, tell me your name," I said, a feeling telling me that I'd gone through this before.

"My name is Leila," said Leila, looking haughty.

So that was her. I had a feeling...…

As Leila pushed me out of the bed and onto the floor, I smiled this little half-smirk. "My name is Matthew. And I'm a guy."

_------------------_

_Dal: So, did you like it? Sorry it's so short. Crap, I can never do these dialogues right, especially with **her...**__Ah well. R&R please!_


	3. Not My Day

Thank you for reviewing. And this time I won't make it so weird and short. I have to admit, it's pretty hard making this all up. Oh yes, I don't own FE. Enjoy!

-

"Get up," said a voice. I mumbled a harsh reply, not wanting to get out of bed.

"Get up!" the voice reiterated, this accompanied by two strong hands shaking me. I rolled out of bed and looked at the person groggily.

"Don't you have something better to do than waking me up at this time? It's so early," I yawned. Leila didn't look the least bit amused. Ah well, you can never impress women.

"We have a new mission today; we have to spy on a group of people that seem to be conspiring against House Ostia."

I blinked. A mission – already? I had barely even begun work. But that was my job. I snapped out of my trancelike stupor, getting ahold of myself.

"What's the group called?" I asked when I found my voice.

Leila sighed. "Must I tell you everything? Didn't you go the little meeting that was held yesterday? Oh wait, that's right. You were drinking like a madman in a tavern!"

I shrugged, thinking it better not to add any comments. Leila went into a room to change into her outdoor-clothes.

As I was going to get my red cloak, I guess you can say I sort of peeked in the room she was undressing in. Oh, it was locked. But what's a former thief to do without his set of picks?

A little grin spread across my face. I snickered softly to myself, and found myself being slapped in the next moment. "Matthew, can't you even be serious for one moment? Save your spying for your job," she seethed, looking rather angry at me as she shut the door. I could hear the click of the lock, which I had just picked at earlier. I could do it again but...I didn't exactly like the feel of being slapped across the face.

She came out of the room. "Oh hello Leila," I said with an innocent smile, donning my cloak. "Are you ready to leave now?"

"Of course I am," she replied. It seemed like she was trying to sound patient.

"Good." I let her go first, then blew out the candle and closed the door. No one else was up yet, or so it seemed.

It was snowing outside, like it had been for two days now. And I had brought my cloak, like I always did. I felt sorry for Leila, who didn't have one at the moment, and wanted to lend her mine...but I thought better of it. She had slapped me after all. Well I had deserved it, I suppose.

I ended up taking off my cloak and handing it to her. "Here, you can borrow my cloak. You must be cold," I muttered. She took it carefully, like she wasn't sure if I was actually serious this time.

"Take it."

Leila looked at me for awhile, then smiled and put it on. I could have sworn she was blushing. There was an awkward silence after that. Then she said to me: "Is it just me, or is your face turning red?"

"It's cold," I answered. It was a logical explanation. Hopefully she wouldn't say anything else. And why was I thinking this? It was not like I was falling for her, right?

We continued on through the fresh snow. Leila was in the lead of course, she was way more experienced. She looked so elegant the way she walked – like a lithe feline stalking its prey or something to that effect (I'm not very poetic). And her hair seemed to curl around her slender neck in the cold...what was I thinking, and saying here?

Pushing my thoughts away, I just followed after her. "How much further is it until we reach that place?" I asked.

"It's not far. 'That place' is up ahead in that little hamlet."

"Great." I casually fingered my sword. I had just noticed that my red cloak stuck out like a sore thumb here in the snow. It was amazing that she hadn't commented about that mistake yet. And it was even more amazing that no one had waylaid us, too.

And soon enough, we found ourselves surrounded by a bunch of men. Before I could draw my sword, a man grabbed me around the neck. "Don't move," he said to Leila. "Or your boyfriend here gets his throat slit."

Boyfriend? What did he mean by that? Leila glared at the man, but stayed put and didn't draw her sword. I think she did that because she didn't stand a chance against all those thugs, not just because my life was at stake. I sighed inwardly.This was nota good day.

-

What did you think? Please review. :)


	4. Losing Control Not a Killing Spree

Now this was a first. I was not bound, gagged, and tied to a chair. I was, instead, locked in a dusty room with no windows. I was leaning against the wall, and Leila was approaching me. She seemed angry, and I didn't blame her. It was probably because my cloak (that I lent her) gave us away. I mean: red against white? That really stands out.

The men in back were talking about money. Yes, that's it. He thought we were just plain commoners that had money. But did we have any? Well, I guess I had a few coins on me – enough to buy a few kegs of ale.

"Why, thank you, Matt. You've just gotten us into a heap of trouble," Leila said, her voice free of mirth.

"I know, I know, and I'm dreadfully sorry," I mumbled, instead of saying: 'You're welcome'.

She wasn't satisfied with that answer. And I wasn't surprised. You can almost never satisfy some women.

Soon I heard a click, and the door swung open. A rough-looking man with several days' growth of beard came in. "You, come here," he said, pointing at me. I raised an eyebrow, looking at Leila. I'll bet most people would have pretended not to notice. But she didn't do that. She just 'answered' by a slight inclination of the head. A smile crept across my features. I hoped I'd remember to thank her for understanding, later on, if we ever got out of this mess.

I silently followed the man out of the room. Leila was about to follow, but the door slammed shut and locked automatically. I grinned despite my situation, imagining her banging against the locked door in frustration. The hairy-faced man didn't seem to notice.

At last we entered a room that was occupied with a few drunken men. They stunk of beer and I cringed slightly.

"What's your name?" the hairy-faced man asked me.

I didn't answer for awhile before saying quietly: "Matthew."

"And what were you two doing near our little shack?"

"Your shack?" I said, trying to choose my words carefully. "I didn't know your 'little shack' existed. We were just on our daily walk, me an' her. I assure you, we didn't know anything about you until now."

The man grabbed me by the collar and held me upright, so I was facing him. So I could smell his putrid breath and hear him clearly. "What did you find out?" he demanded, shaking me a bit.

I was sick of being shaken, and I lost control of myself. I spat in his face. "I found out that you have four small rooms; one of them has a small window. I found out that you thugs do nothing but gamble and drink all the time. I found out that you thugs are just losers that sit around all day in this dirty little hut!"

The hairy-faced man snarled and hit me across the face several times, drawing some blood. Then he threw me against the wall. I crumpled into a feeble little heap and tried to crawl to the doorway, but he blocked me. Stupid person, I thought angrily. Let him come and fight me like a real man.

As my fingers painfully gripped the hilt of my iron sword, I saw someone emerge from the doorway and stab the man. He cried out in agony and clutched at his guts that were falling out.

"...Leila?" I said, wondering how she got here. She looked at me lying on the floor and offered a hand to help me up.

"No, Leila, look behind you!" I managed to say, through gasps of pain that emanated from my hurting body.

She whirled around and fought the man off, though he grazed one arm, where blood now spurted freely. I pushed myself off the floor and hacked away at another. My swordsmanship was umm...not exactly the greatest. Most of the time, I found myself slicing at air where a head should have been.

When all of them were dead, I came over to Leila. "That was a nice display of swordsmanship," I said.

"Yes, it was, wasn't it?" she said. "But I think these men were the group we were supposed to spy on. We didn't get any significant information. We just killed them! Now what do we do?"

I laughed. "We enjoy the rest of the day. Who cares about information if they're already dead? It's not like dead people pose a threat." I did an imitation of an undead person. Her face lit up, but she didn't laugh. I decided not to do impressions for awhile.


	5. A New Mission

When I found the note at the door for an audience with milord Uther, I gave Leila an impish smile. She raised an eyebrow, and looked at the note. It had my name written at the salutation. By the time she had finished taking in the fact that I had been 'invited' and she had not, I began to wonder why she hadn't been the one to get that letter.

"Well I gotta go now," I told her. "Don't want to be late now, do I?"

"Hold on there. What's this all about? Did you personally request an audience with Lord Uther?" she inquired, looking quite amused.

I shrugged. "No. I guess they all know about my good looks, my charisma, and natural charm." I laid myself back on my chair in a slouching manner and put my feet on a desk.

"What charm," I heard her mutter sarcastically. I found my chair being tilted upright, which nearly made me fall off. The sky was starting to get brighter. And I was almost late.

So I got up from the chair, kissed her on the cheek, and ran out the door before she could respond. I don't think I even know why I did that. But I saw her come out of the doorway, looking quite surprised. Then I turned my head and went for the main audience hall.

I didn't want to bother to wait for the person who might have been in the audience hall before me. But Leila had taught me to always be careful, and not rush headlong into danger or anything to that effect. Lord Uther definitely did not classify as danger. But I kept to her advice anyway, and opened the door a crack so I could see what was happening inside.

There were some merchants to the side, some ladies dressed in tacky clothing, some guards, and Lord Uther. No dangerous people in sight. Good.

The herald at the door noticed me. "Howdy," I said. The herald sighed.

"And here enters the thief Matthew!" he announced. I felt like hitting him for shouting so loud.

"Hail, milord Uther!" I said with a grand sweep of a bow as I entered the large double doors. The ladies tittered, and the guards tensed. I gave the merchants a wicked smile, and they cringed.

Lord Uther gave me a patient glance. "You are here because I have summoned you. And you are to act in your place, even if this honor is bestowed upon you. A woman is claiming to be the granddaughter of the Marquess of Caelin. Your mission is to go along with her band of mercenaries and find out whether she is telling the truth or not, and any other bits of helpful information that you can discover. Are you up for it, or shall I send for Leila instead?"

I cringed. If he gave this mission to Leila! I'd be the laughing stock of all the spies in Ostia! If I passed up this opportunity, I'd never surpass her. However, as these thoughts went through my mind, I still held my cheery look. "Of course I'm up for it!" I said with a nervous chuckle, my voice tight.

"If you are found out in this mission, you know the consequences."

I swallowed hard. "Yes. I won't fail. Promise."

"From my sources-" sources inevitably meaning other spies "-her band will arrive in Araphen in about two weeks' time. I trust you can get there before them?"

"Like I said, I won't fail this," I replied, then added dryly: "I know the way to my hometown well."

"Then you are dismissed," he said. I took three steps backward (out of respect), then turned and went out of the room. I could hear several voices inside, saying stuff like 'peculiar fellow'. I paid no attention.

"You're going where!" Leila exclaimed when I told her where I was going.

"I have to go back to Araphen," I answered, still packing for the trip. "It's no business of yours, my fellow spy."

Leila looked grim. "You're quitting your job? You know you aren't supposed to tell-"

"I am not quitting my job!"

"Then why...?"

"A mission," I answered, and that ended any further questions. "I have to leave in the morning."

"Take care, then," Leila said softly, patting me on the back. I felt awkward as I got into bed and went to sleep.


	6. Starting Out

One thing. I do not own FE. And also I don't think I can keep up this updating pace but I'll try! lol...enjoy

-

_I leaned back against a tree, feeling the hot sun on my face. It was so bright outside. What was I doing here...? And where was Leila? And why was I looking for Leila? I glanced around my surroundings. It wasn't a bad place, this. It was full of lush green grass and trees with sparkling emerald leaves. Right out of a picture book._

"_Leila?" I called. Nothing answered but the wind. I frowned, called again, but she wasn't there. I was worried for some reason. And I didn't even know how I got here._

"_Matthew! Over here!" said a woman, approaching me. It was Leila, but not Leila. How could it be Leila? She was wearing a dress. It looked nice on her, though. I grinned, shaking my head absentmindedly. She gave me a cheerful smile. But her smile was tainted with some kind of sadness. And why would she be sad? This was so strange._

_And then we appeared on a beach. The waves lapped at my feet, and I was suddenly in my trousers. Leila laughed at me. My face flushed. Never had I worn so little in front of a woman._

_I waded into the water. "Leila, come on, it's not like you're going to drown!" I heard myself say. The water seemed pretty shallow. It wasn't deep at all, really. Leila looked at me in a frightened way. I had never seen her frightened before. What was wrong here? Was the Leila I knew afraid of water?_

_She joined me. We splashed around, throwing water on each other. I laughed, she laughed. Then I asked her if we could go to the deeper water. She looked nervous, but answered: "Okay."_

_So we waded into the deeper water. It seemed as shallow as the water before, to me that is. Her feet barely touched the bottom, but she didn't show any signs of discomfort. I put that thought off my mind. Then I saw this sparkling thing under the water. I bent down to pick it up. As I was doing this, I felt something move across my back. That was weird. Then I resurfaced with a small coin. Nice. I decided to give it to her. But when I looked to her place, she was gone._

_Where was she? She couldn't have gone far away. After all, she never swam before, or so she told me...my gaze wavered for a moment. Could she have been swept away? I could see nothing now except the sea and the beach. No one. Nothing._

"Leila!" I gasped, before realizing it was a dream. Stupid dreams, I thought. All I ever got were nightmares.

"What? What is it?" she asked sleepily, brushing strands of reddish-pink hair from her face. "Is someone trying to break in, or did you have a bad dream?" She said the latter with blatant irony.

I got up and grabbed my things. "It was a dream. And now's about the right time to go. I'll be seeing you, Leila."

Leila stared at me for a bit. I felt a bit uneasy under her gaze, and turned to get my red cloak. Only this time, I packed up my red cloak and wore a dirty gray one inside. It was no use wearing a cloak that stood out in the snow again. I learned that lesson.

I opened the door and walked outside into the hallway. Leila came out after me. "What is it?" I asked, more harshly than I had intended. "This is a one-man mission only. You can't come."

"I know I can't come," Leila replied, rather haughtily. But her voice softened as she added: "Promise me you'll come back safely." I was surprised at her statement. Was this affection, or a joke? To tell the truth I actually hoped it was going to be affection. That was because I...well...

"I'll come back, don't worry," I mumbled as I walked further down the hallway and exited through a small door at the side. There wasn't any magnificent stallion waiting for me to jump on him and gallop away. There was only myself. And I was alone now.

I continued through the snow with my dirty gray cloak and small bundle that held my stuff. I continued alone. And my mind was filled with thoughts of Leila.


	7. A Letter To Leila

**Hail, everyone. Sorry I have not updated for awhile but hey. Homework. Please review!**

* * *

I was continuing along the road for many days, seeing nothing but snow and road. There were also a few people along the roadside, but I didn't pay any attention to them. I had a mission to do, and I was going to finish it. Oh, there were a few curious incidents I ran into, but I'm not going to relate them for several reasons that would make me very uncomfortable.

Finally, I saw a little sign. Ahead of me loomed a large city. A very familiar city. The sign read: Araphen. I was here already? Last time it had taken me a day longer.

I went into my house and unloaded several things: my dirty gray cloak, a stick I had picked up on the road (for some very strange reason), and other miscellaneous items that I probably wouldn't need. Then I took some money from a hidden stash under my bed and exited.

I saw a group of people coming; maybe it was that...what was it? The granddaughter of Marquess Caelin and her band of mercenaries? I went into the nearest house, since it looked like it would have a good view of the battle. This woman nearly jumped when she saw me in her house.

And then you know the rest of the story. I got the fat little lady to let me into her house (with the help of a little bribe). Lady Lyndis also intruded, and after a little talk, she let me join her team. There was an interesting variety of people there. Two cavaliers, an archer, a mage, and so on. Personally, one of those cavaliers freaked me out. I wouldn't have been surprised if he went all kissy on me. It was after the whole switch-operating dilemma when I saw that cleric.

"Someone's staring at me! I feel it!" I heard her say. "Oh, some poor fool is smitten with me!"

Now where'd I hear that annoying voice before? My face paled as I slowly remembered. I cringed. "Serra! No, it can't be!" It felt like the end of the world.

"Matthew?" she gasped, turning around. She nearly strangled me with a hug. "Matthew, it's been such a long time! Where were you? And what are you doing here? Oh," she said, cutting me off from saying anything. "You came here because you couldn't stand to be separated from me for too long! Oh, the pity of unrequited love!" She swept a hand over her forehead dramatically.

I groaned and chose to ignore her. And now I could really sympathize with that mage guy. There was still a long ways to go for Caelin, or wherever these people were going.

And in my pocket, cold comfort, was a piece of parchment that I was going to write on. A letter to Leila; or at least it was going to be. I reclined against a tree stump and took it out, seeing that no one was really going anywhere at the time.

_Dear Leila,_

_I'm at some kind of crude camp right now. That Lyndis is driving me off the edge. She's always talking about her gramps. I mean, who cares? I don't._

_So how are you now? Do you have a new mission? Or are you still sitting on a chair, waiting for someone to ask you to go to the Audience Hall? But you're better off than me. I mean, SERRA'S IN MY GROUP! Help! You know, her escort is one sad dismal guy. You can't help feeling sorry for him. He's better off babysitting a man hired to assassinate him._

_Nothing's new happening here. I haven't figured out anything yet about these people. The only thing I've done so far was help these people trigger some switches. I won't be specific when I say that the Marquess of Araphen hates this Lyndis because of something that happened between him and Lyn's mother. I don't really want to think about the details, but I might ask her about it later._

_My swordsmanship is not very good. I have to ask their tactician to let me train more. Do you think I'll be any good on the battlefield? I know what you're going to say. I'm not._

_Well, I suppose that's all I can say at the moment. I'll be back when (or if) Lyndis gets to Caelin and gets all that stuff over with. And I hope I'll be able to make it back to Ostia. But don't worry. I'll survive. For you..._

I blinked and looked at the last few sentences. _Don't worry. I'll survive. For you..._

I felt like crossing out the last two words, but couldn't. So I left it, and signed:

_Your fellow spy,_

_Matthew._

Wait a minute. If someone found this note before she did, he'd know we were both spies. I crossed "_Your fellow spy"_ out and wrote in its place:

_Yours truly,_

_Matthew._

I looked at it again. Yours truly? No, that wouldn't work. I scratched it out. And then I finally wrote:

_Love,_

_Matthew._

There. That was perfect. I slipped the note in a pocket. Since people seemed to be setting up camp and going to bed, I took out a bedroll and went to sleep.


End file.
